The very nature of caring for another person's personal needs can make it hard both to offer and to accept assistance. People with HD often experience considerable frustration and anxiety when they try to carry out personal care tasks. They may react badly to being reminded or hurried. Tackling these difficulties requires patience, tact, understanding and a positive approach.

You should try to maintain the highest possible degree of independence, while being aware of the need to consider safety. Think about how much help is required. Consider ways in which you could encourage or help the person to carry out the tasks. We all have our own way of going about things and it is helpful if the person's own routine can be kept to as closely as possible.

The following suggestions may help:

• Allow time for activities such as washing and dressing. Make sure the room is warm and comfortable. Try to make things as relaxed as possible.
• Provide the maximum degree of privacy which safety will allow.
• Try giving prompts before assisting more actively, and provide the necessary prompts one step at a time. If assistance is required, give it tactfully and explain what you are doing.
• Avoid discussions and arguments and approach tasks positively.
• Limit choice of clothing but offer a choice of one or two garments
• Lay items of clothing out in the order to be worn (preferably the same way the person would usually do it). Lay toiletries out in order of use.
• When the person is trying to do things, give encouragement. Give compliments and generally take an interest in the person's appearance.

The person's general level of co-operation with you regarding personal care tasks may fluctuate considerably. Remember it is pointless to argue. It is likely that in a short time the person with HD will forget the dispute but you may be left tense, angry, and exhausted! If certain areas prove difficult, try again later, try different approaches or choose a time of day when the person is usually most co-operative.